Monday, February 25, 2013


We are supposed to log 12k steps 5 days of 7. Most bootcamp days I have around 7k by the time I finish work.  I have hit a wall with making myself get out and finish those steps every day.  I hate it, I loathe it, and most days talk myself out of it.  Last year, I'd have never ever let myself sit down before they were done.  I need to find that resolve again...On the other hand, I'm doing amazingly well at my food.  If only I could get them both there simultaneously. 
In my first blog, I wrote about trying local honey and cinnamon daily for my arthritis.  I believe it definitely helped.  We've been out of local honey for about a week now and my knees have started waking me up at night again.  It doesn't seem as bad as it was prior to starting the honey/cinnamon. 
Hubby is going to have to head by the Bee Store in Pickens and pick me up some more honey.  I like being pain free.  I would love to hear from anyone else that have tried honey as a remedy.
Obviously, I've already hit the sofa for tonight, with 8k on the pedometer. I'll probably make another 1k before bed, but tomorrow's another day... I'll get there, one step at a time.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013


On Ash Wednesday, I gave up sweets (sugar) for Lent.  I weighed that morning.  Yesterday morning I weighed and was already down 6.2 lbs.  Yay, Lent! I can't wait to see how much difference this makes with my arthritis if any.  It has offered much inspiration toward my spiritual journey though... never realized how often I reached for something sweet...
On Yesterday's post, You know it's a good workout when you're too tired to type.  My hair was even sore last night!  I feel much more invigorated this morning after 9 hours of sleep. Today's usually my half day, but I'm taking it on Friday so my schedule will be all off.  Hoping not to have to finish my steps in the rain tonight. 
Off to save the world, bbl.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Return to structure

I think I am the Tin Man, left in the rain to rust... I move, I holler... what a day.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Off week

This past week was my off week from Bootcamp.  We left on Friday and took the Fifth Wheel to Dillard, Ga to camp for our Valentine's Day.  Good friends of ours traveled with us in their new motorhome.  As Nancy's grandson so aptly put it, they went for the WOW factor this time!  It's a gorgeous new ride and getaway.  The weather was fantastic, we sat around the fire in the shelter all day yesterday, just chatting and enjoying being outside.  We even saw our fair share of snow flurries.
We didn't hurry to do anything. Ate twice on Friday and Saturday.  It was just good to unwind and spend some quality time with my Valentine.  Last night we snuggled up really close, because our furnace would not come on ... after almost 2 hours of trying.  It was hilarious and frustrating all at the same time.  Thank goodness for a hubby that always has body heat to share, hot flashes, an electric fireplace and a huge sense of humor!
Wednesday was Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent.  I have given up sweets/sugar for Lent.  I already feel better.  It will be most interesting to see what difference this makes, and if it finally busts my craving for ultra sweet sweets.  Bootcamp 2 starts tomorrow and I'm behind on my cooking because of the travel time home today.  Gotta get it going. 

Saturday, February 9, 2013

I can see clearly now the blame is gone...

Well, the dreaded weigh in was not as bad as I anticipated.  I lost 7 of the regained inches, added a pound of muscle, and didn't have a change on the scale.  I'll take it. My younger sister and fellow bootcamper was voted most inspirational of this camp.  :-)
 I've sort of danced around all the "STUFF" that lead me to this stalemate in my weight loss and life redirection.  If you'll be patient, I'll try to start at the beginning.  My youngest sibling by 8 years was diagnosed with diabetes when he was 19.  My younger sister by 2 years was diagnosed with diabetes when she was in her late 30's. 
I'm a nurse.
Both of said siblings (the only two I own) shared the same philosophy for a long time.  If they didn't admit they had diabetes, then they didn't have it.  They sort of took their meds, and sort of developed hypertension along the way.  I preached, they stalled, I begged, they got mad (if they ever stumble upon this blog, it'll make them angry too...until they realize that I only feel this way, because I love them both so much).  So anyway, on my younger brother's 40th birthday, he had a stroke, then lost his eyesight 2 years later.  I thought, well, can't undo that, but perhaps the sister is paying attention... this past October, she suffered a stroke.  Thankfully, she recognized the symptoms and got treatment much faster than my brother.  So, we also have an elderly Mom, she's had a small stroke a decade ago, and is actually a very vital, energetic soon to be 79 year old.  So earlier this year, my daughter's young marriage ended, and she moved back home, life change number one. Then my Mom was hospitalized for what we feared was a heart attack or stroke, turns out her meds were just too strong. Whew, dodged that bullet.  Then my brother ends up in the hospital with what appeared to be a diabetic ulcer on his good foot.  That was handled with IV antibiotics and therapy, another bullet dodged.  Sister then has her stroke, leaves her job, separates from her husband.  All these things dominoed and created life change number two. 
It's good to have the girl child home.  She has always been the bright spot in our lives.  She is happy, healthy and shares the love of bootcamp with me.  I'm blessed to have her.  It's good that she recognized the door that opened in what has turned out to be a whopsided marriage and she will soon be free of that encumberence.  She told me one morning as my husband/ her father came in from work, and greeted me as he does most mornings by wrapping his arms around me tightly and calling me sweetie, that she wanted a man that loved her like that.  She sees the big picture.  Hopefully there is a man out there deserving of this bright, beautiful, insightful, happy and loving individual. 
As I said earlier, I love my siblings.  They were my first best friends, stood beside me when no one else would, and we always have each other's backs.  I didn't say I never got frustrated or angry with them.  Last fall I was angry. Pissed off.  Furious.  I felt like a failure.  I had failed them as a nurse.  I had failed them as the protective big sister.  I failed.  Did I? No, but I felt that way.  It was my excuse to sit on my butt and skip my steps.  It was my excuse for the extra serving of whatever (even if it was healthy) to send me over my calories for the day.  It was an EXCUSE to resort to my comfort zone. My comfort zone is NOT healthy. 
So this past month, I set a goal...albeit unrealistic... and guess what.  I failed.  But, I really didn't.  I made 11/12 bootcamps.  I made 90% healthy choices.  I almost made my steps most days, despite a bum knee and sciatica on the same side.  I have started to let go the anger, the frustration, the feeling of helplessness, the feeling of being overwhelmed.  I have on my pedometer.  Today I will get steps.  I have an accountability partner and I'll report into her tonight.  She will talk me off the ledges, even if she's standing there on the ledge with me.  We will NOT hold hands and jump together.  When I'm strong for someone else, it's usually when I'm my strongest.  I lost sight of that last fall.  I can see clearly now the blame is gone.
My amazing sister ran a half mile on the day we tested out for bootcamp, she did push ups and sit ups.  My sister with the stroke that left her weak on her left side.  She is amazing.  She is NOT a quitter.  She is a diabetic and a stroke survivor.  She is a Survivor.  I'm so proud of her.  I can only hope she knows how very much.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Weigh in Eve

Tomorrow is the next to last work out day of this particular bootcamp.  It's the day we test out,  pushups, sit ups, and run a half mile(well, some run... I will walk fast, jog a little,and walk fast some more). Then we have a killer workout, consisting of everything we would have done in an hour shoved into about 40 minutes.  It'll be horrible and wonderful all at the same time.  It's exhilarating to push your body beyond limits you thought existed and survive to moan about it later.  Then tomorrow evening, we'll face the tape measure and scale.  I can tell by my clothing that the scale will be my enemy, the tape measure a foe.  So what will I do?  Perhaps a little more berating of myself for allowing life to throw me curve balls and for my failure to knock them out of the park ... to take them without swinging.  Then, I'll take a deep breath, congratulate myself for making all the workouts but one, and begin to get ready for the next one that begins in 10 days.  I won't explode, in fact, people are still asking how much more weight have I lost... None, I say, but thank them for making me feel better.  Eighty two pounds ago, I never thought this current body existed anymore.  Nine bootcamps ago, I didn't know I still loved to swing a kettle bell, or do exercises til my muscles trembled and sweat poured off me like a river.  I promise myself that I have to live in the midst of this transformation, be flexible with the regimen, and gentle with my self because I'm still tender in this new place in my life. 

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Sunday Drive

Snowed for a little bit yesterday... in the northwest corner of SC that is a cause for a mad dash to the grocery store to buy bread and milk.  Northeners laugh and ask if we eat milk sandwiches.  No, we don't, we need bread for our peanut butter and milk for snow cream, should we get more than a dusting of snow.  T and I opted out of the mad dash to the store, and chose to watch the snow fall from the comfort of our bed.  Well, we watched it for a few minutes, then we slept. When we woke, the snow was over and we braved the damp roads to find dinner. 
This morning was another story, we knew that northern Georgia and Northwest NC had more than a dusting, so we took a Sunday drive west and over the mountain back home.  It was gorgeous.  Mostly because the snow was there and not here.  I'm not a big fan of snow or cold.  If I knew how to post photos, I'd put some up so you could ooh and ahh with me.  I'll eventually figure that out. 
Now to dash to the grocery store, pick up a few items for the Super Bowl Supper/Snacks and get back here before kick off.  Pulling for both teams.  Home boy playing for the 49ers, and I just like the Ravens spunk.  Go FOOTBALL!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

A clean house is a happy house...yeah, right.

Slept for over 10 hours last night, I must have been more tired than I imagined.  Found the broom and started upstairs and a few hours later, atleast my bedroom, bath and hallway are clean.  T started in the basement rearranging and tossing out more damp stuff from the flooding we had earlier in the week, he's now snoozing happily on the sofa while I watch Clemson basketball and generally waste a perfectly good afternoon.