Saturday, March 23, 2013

R.I.P. Bea

Bea continued to fail this week, and by Thursday evening it was evident that she would most likely, short of a miracle, not be able to recover. We spent the day and evening loving on her and telling her what a wonderful dog she was and how much we would miss her.  We took her to the vet on Friday morning.  Euthanisia was quick and painless.  She slipped into her eternal slumber while I held her and talked to her. 
We miss our Bea B girl, but it was time. She was so tired.  We were exhausted. 

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

One step forward, three steps back

Well, Bea has taken a turn for the worse.  She vomited her feeding tonight.  She's weak and wobbly ...moreso than yesterday.  I just hope she's not in pain.  It would kill me to think we're doing all this to her and just extending her misery.  I'm going to boil some rice and put it in the blender and see how she does with that ... wish me luck.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

She's slowly improving...

When last I wrote, I feared that my daughter's chihuahua, Bea, was dying.  Well, after 3 long days and nights, she is now lapping water on her own.  We are still syringe feeding her food, but that's a long way from where we were on Saturday.  She is able to hold her head up and even take a few wobbly steps today.  We have hope.
I also had a first today. My first colonoscopy.  The prep was the worst part of the entire procedure.  I may consent to a second one if they improve the prep.  I am grateful that all was ok, except that it seems I have inherited diverticulitis from my mom.  I have never had the first symptom, so I don't plan on changing anything, yet.
It's back to work tomorrow for me.

Saturday, March 16, 2013

One of the LONGEST weeks ever

I'm sitting on the loveseat beside one very sick dog.  It's my daughter's chihuahua, Bea.  Bea came into our lives via Pendergrass Flea Market the year she graduated from high school.  I was dead set against this dog...didn't want another inside dog... was relatively sure beyond a shadow of a doubt I didn't like chihuahuas. 
Bea made me eat every last word of every argument I had against her.  She stole my heart, then broke it wide open to squeeze in three more chihuahuas of my own.  Bea seems to be actively dying.  She has been in the Vet hospital all week on IV's.  She looked some better when we brought her home yesterday, but she is spiraling downhill.  The vet told us this morning, that sometimes when their kidneys fail, there's no way to correct it.  It seems that is where we stand.  Oh, I pray I'm wrong, we've cried, we've begged, we've pleaded, we've prayed... In a year of so many losses for my daughter, it seems that she might could be spared this one loss.  The boys know something's wrong.
They have laid quietly beside her today just keeping her company.  I feel so completely helpless.
Terry asked tonight on the way home from dinner, why did I think a dogs lifespan was so much shorter than a humans. I could only answer as I read once in All Things Great and Small. It's because they don't have to live as long to be worthy of heaven. 

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

My daughter is awesomeness

My only child, my daughter, is total awesomeness.  We've been through a lot together, she and I.  The most intense was the 10 monthes I carried her and the 29 hours I labored to finally bring her into the world via a c-section.  She is all the best parts of me and her father, and her other biological relatives.  It's amazing to see bits and pieces of our family members in her sense of humor, her unwavering loyalty, her truthfulness.  She is hardest on herself, like all of us.  She never cuts herself a break, and will be the first to say I'm sorry if she truly believes she's in the wrong.  She is stubborness personified.  This isn't all bad considering her recent separation and impending divorce from her husband.  She told me very matter of factly after a couple weeks of being back home that she was indeed ok.  She had thought about it, and had come to the conclusion that his first marriage ended in less than a year, his second relationship ended with the gal leaving him for another woman, and now this marriage was ending after less than 2 years.  She said the only common denominator in all that hot mess was him.  Wow.  I'd still be figuring out how to wreak havoc in his life, and she's very calmly and decisively moved on to find her own happiness.  Yep, she's total awesomeness.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Mama's Birthday

Yesterday was my Mama's 79th birthday.  We celebrated by taking her to dinner.  We, being my sister, my niece and her two kids.  It was an odd sort of celebration, but it seemed to make my Mama happy.  Guess that's all that matters. 
I can't imagine being 79.  I wanted to ask her what she thought about it, but didn't... I'm chicken. 
I know what I think about being 51.  I wonder what she thought about it.  I still can't ask her.  I'm afraid to hear the truths echoed in my own being...

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Gary, the exercising deer

Usually it's too dark and we're just not awake enough to notice little things in the mornings for bootcamp.  Last week, Monday, specifically, Melissa and I noticed deer tracks on the track at bootcamp.  The interesting thing about the deer tracks was that they actually followed the track, like the deer was running laps ... or better yet, doing HIITs (high intensity interval training) which are simply of the devil if you ask me.  We giggled at the thought of this deer running HIITs and checking his pedometer.  Of course, he was in mismatched exercise garb, and barely awake.  Somewhere during our hilarity, Melissa called him, Gary.  Gary the exercising deer.  I wonder if he has to do HIITs because he noshes on a few too many acorns, or does he just like running?